Losing a Pet Can Hurt as Much as, Sometimes Even More than, Losing a Friend or Relative

It has been many years but I still remember my pet fondly. At the age of 9, I was the sole master of my first dog, Genie. He loved to play catch with me. I remember the time I was so afraid that he would fall into a pit that I jumped head first to save him. He whined and licked me as I lay on my bed that night with a bandage The scar on my forehead still remains as a testimony of our pure, innocent love. Now as an adult, every time the world beats me down and I look at the scar, I remember the warm feeling of cuddling with my dog in my room. His soft fur and that puppy smell felt like home.

I returned home to him every evening after school. We spent hours taking long walks. Being a shy kid, I needed no one but him by my side to feel brave and venture outdoors. He made conversations with strangers easier.  When things got stressful at home, especially between my folks, Genie's antics gave us a comic relief. I practiced with him on how to talk to my teen crush. We shared food, beds, love for the woods, and a pool. What I didn't realize was that Genie, who weaved his magic with his adorable face and naughty temperament, was not immortal. The day he fell ill, never to rise again to welcome me at the door, I knew instinctively something was wrong. The day Genie left us, I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my brother from a doggy mother. I spent months cursing creation. If turtles could live that long, why can't human's best friends? I spent a few more months crying. And years have gone by, but I haven't still managed to fill the void left by that impish tail-wagger. 

“It’s not surprising to me that we feel such grief over the loss of a pet, because in this country at least they are increasingly considered family members,” Leslie Irvine, a sociologist at the University of Colorado-Boulder, told Popular Science.

It is only natural then that losing a pet would be devastating. Especially, now more than ever when there are as many as 68% of households in America that have a pet. In 2018, $72.56 billion was spent on our pets in the US, according to the American Pet Products Association.

While another research, Why do people love their pets? by researcher John Archer and published in Science Direct, said that loss of a pet is as painful as losing a loved human. 

"In some circumstances, pet owners derive more satisfaction from their pet relationship than those with humans, because they supply a type of unconditional relationship that is usually absent from those with other human beings," the research said.

Unlike humans, your cat or dog will not judge your actions and words. They will instead lap up any attention you give them and it is the feeling that someone is so happy that you are there in their life that humans probably miss the most when their pet dies. 

They have become a part of our life so much that we shape our daily lives according to their needs. Waking up early to take a dog for a walk or setting alarms to feed your fish at the same time and how much to feed it are important decisions. For many young adults living alone, a pet might become the first companion ever they live with.

“A lot of people who have pets wake up at a certain time, not because of any alarm clock or any need of their own but because their dog needs a walk,” says Irvine. “Just as other humans participate in becoming family by doing these practices — getting up together, eating together, navigating the bathroom times, and all that — so do animals become part of the rituals that make family.”

If you are the owner of the best companion to humans, dogs, it is possible that they increase the level of oxytocin in your body. There was a study done, Oxytocin-gaze positive loop and the coevolution of human-dog bonds published in Science Mag, that proves that when humans and dogs gaze at each other their oxytocin level increases. However, the same is not applicable for wolves.

Another study, The Impact of Pet Loss on the Perceived Social Support and Psychological Distress of Hurricane Survivors, showed that while coping with post-disaster situations "pets might protect survivors from adverse outcomes whereas pet loss might increase risk. Pets can provide owners with nonjudgmental support, buffering against physical and mental health problems, and decreasing reactivity to stressors. Pet loss, in turn, is associated with psychological distress."

From partners during walks to protectors from strangers, a dog can be an ideal companion. If you have other pets, like cats or turtles or a bird, you probably remember and still enjoy their company and uniqueness. They warm our hearts and their loss is a big lacuna in our daily lives. And the feeling would be as painful as losing a family or a friend.